Tag: life-changing

The First Furry Bud – Eva

I’d been MIA from last year so much that a lot of people have started thinking that I have stopped blogging altogether. That is not true! I love this blog and this is the main one I have so I am never going to stop posting here, no matter what. Now that we have that out of the way, I’d like to share with all you guys, my beloved readers, the reason why I went MIA from last 12 months – our first furry baby, Eva.

Eva’s pic posted for the ad by the foster parents.

We decided to adopt a kitten in late August and exactly within a week, on 3rd September we brought this amazing kitten we found a posting about on the internet. We had planned to have a cat for a very long time, just as we planned to have a dog, and already knew what was going to be her name – Eva. She was such a munchkin that we fell in love with her at first sight!

She is one of the most amazing things to have happened to Vishal and me after our marriage and that’s one of the reasons we love her so much more than we could ever love anyone ever!! Eva is tremendously smart, extremely intelligent and an adorable fur-doll. We love her so much that we even didn’t leave the house while taking care of her for the first 3 months as she was just a little cuddle baby of 47 days when we got her.

She is almost a year old presently (her birthday is on 13th July) and has grown into a feisty and charming little girl that we always knew she would be. My Instagram is full of her pictures but here are some I truly adore:

Speak Up #domesticviolenceawareness

As a child of a functioning alcoholic, I have seen domestic violence at very close quarters. Though not a direct victim myself, my father loved me too much, I do know how it is as my mother was always on the receiving end. Having stayed up most of the nights with my mother, standing between her and my drunk father playing the role of a shield, I know very well what it feels like to be subjected to it, how it affects everyone around, and its long-term consequences.

I’d been a helpless observer of domestic violence since the age of 4 (as that is the age I started understanding things better) and I, for one, have a very strong stand against it. My mother was a sweet woman and, just like many other housewives in India, firmly believed that she needed a man to take care of her, another line of thought I strongly stand against and which often created a lot of issues between me and her as I wanted her to leave him. But in the end, we both managed to speak up against it, although it took a long time. But we did and that was the end of it. I was 12 by the time domestic violence completely stopped in our home because of the steps we took. After that my home was only filled with fights and hatred, but that’s another matter altogether. Coming back to the topic, The only suggestion I’d like to share for anyone still suffering from domestic violence is to SPEAK UP! Do not take it and do not let your loved ones take it. It will take a lot and might cost you much more than you can think, in order to stop it you’ll inevitably have to speak up. And in the end, it would be worth it; if not immediately then eventually.

No one has the right to abuse anyone, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. We all are educated human beings and it is time that we act like it. No, you cannot beat your wife. No, you cannot hit your sister. No, you cannot use abusive language to any woman or man for that matter, neither in your home nor outside because it is simply not acceptable.

Let us pledge to Speak Up every time someone, anyone, needs help. If it your neighbour, then dial 100 and call the cops if you can’t go to their place and ring their doorbells. 

Downtime

I’ve been feeling down from a long time and finally, after a lot of cloudy days and a ton of brooding and despair, I’ve finally started pulling myself out of depression. I’ve been suffering from depression since the age of 10, so it’s always on and off with me, but this time it really hit me hard. And the worst part is, I’m not even sure what caused it; maybe one thing in particular or the other, or maybe it was the sum of all or maybe it was just because of something someone said or did. In any case, I’m not even sure if that matters anymore because I’ve been trying to find the reason for months now only to find myself stumbling in a dark maze of not-so-good thoughts.

In the past few months I tried to get out of this dark spell a number of times, but surprisingly nothing worked at all and the vacations we took, the impromptu shopping sprees, all the expensive food and booze, nothing… absolutely nothing worked. I tried crying too, but that just made things worse and pulled me further down.

The thing that really pains me though is that I hate to do this to the one person who lives with me, the only person who actually loves me and cares for me – Vishal. My depression affects him, a lot more than he shows and I know this, and to be honest, that’s one of the reasons, or maybe it’s the only reason I try to not make things worse by doing stupid things like fighting, arguing, or attempting different ways of self-harming. It’s very frustrating at times; sometimes my suicidal tendencies get the best of me, sometimes anger does and sometimes hurt, but this time it was sadness. And trust me, sadness was the worst of them all.

Vishal’s been so patient with me and it is his patience that makes it possible for me to even come out of my depression. It is his love for me that makes me believe in myself and my capabilities to deal with it all. God only knows how exhausting it might be for him to be in a relationship with me. I am so fucking grateful to have him in my life. It is his and only his presence that keeps me sane and functional… and even alive. And so I’ve decided that I’ve spent enough time in the dark abyss and have pulled him down enough too. It stops here. I feel like I’ve wasted enough time already worrying about things that I shouldn’t have even thought about in the first place, that don’t even matter and that can’t even touch me. So, I’m just going to pull myself together and start my normal daily routine. I need to start practising gratitude again because it is the one thing that makes me feel sane and calm. Why? I have no idea. It just does, just like meditation, so I’m gonna do these two things and try to get back into the swing of things at work and at home.

Eva is such a blessing in our lives and now that I have almost finished the 2 critique projects I’ve been working on, I have all the time in the world to be with her and Vishal. I’m just going to be grateful for the beautiful life I have and for the most amazing husband and the most adorable fur-baby and be happy. And when Vishal gets some time off from work, we’ll hunt for a GSD pup. I’ve bounced back from depression so many times now that I’ve practically lost the count, so I’m just going to do it again. I am just going to take this all slow and steady till I get back to where I was emotionally a few months back to promote Deceived and write Sinister Town.

I am just going to take this all slow and steady till I get back to where I was emotionally before and resume promoting Deceived and writing Sinister Town.

BTW, if you ever feel down or low, listen to Nothing Else Matters by Metallica and everything will start to feel unreal and I bet you’ll start to get high just by listening to this beautiful, beautiful song. And a lot of things will start to make sense.

I am not going to apologise for my emotional rant because this post is really important to me – first, it helped me unload my emotional burden and really made me feel a lot better and second, this post helped me Freewrite. So, peace out! 🙂

Ciao ❤

How I Started Writing

In the last six years of my writing career (as of 2019 end) I’ve been asked this questions now and again so I thought that I’ll write up a post on it as I am better at writing than verbally explaining my feelings and thoughts.

It always irks me whenever someone, generally an old friend or acquaintance, pings me or sends me a random DM and begin the conversation by saying “I never knew you liked writing” or something on the same lines. It bothers me because it reminds me of how I let someone else’s expectations get the better of me and forgot, for the major part of my life, what I really wanted to be. It irritates me because I never ever told anyone what I wanted to do, not even my own self. I think I simply didn’t dare to dream about it because it was something unimaginable as no one around me was doing it. So I thought I’d finally answer this question once and for all.

How I Started Writing

Unlike most writers, I was not a child-writer (children who start writing beautiful – or shitty – stories from an early age.) Though I did love reading, or to be more specific, I loved stories. Cinderella was my ultimate favorite, not because she ends up being a princess but because, unfortunately, I was able to relate to the first half of her life more than I can still relate to anything else. I belong to a dysfunctional family and suffered from dysthymia from a very early age so I knew how being unloved and unwanted felt. I used to think that I was living in Cinderella’s life.

I used to spend almost all my time in pretend worlds. I used to line up all my dolls and bears and other toys upon returning from school and pretended to teach them whatever I learned in my classes that day or play with my dolls and barbies cooking food with my kitchen sets and feeding my deal mute friends. I was an introvert and was scared of letting people in my life openly so I have barely any friends. Not to mention, I had no best friend. So, I used to pretend that my 1.5-acre tree-covered property was a long-forgotten island where I lived alone. My father was either busy with his business, or friends or drinking and my mother with her special friends, so you see I had a lot of time to myself as I was barely ever in their company.

I had a very elaborate and distinct imagination and as a result of spending most of my time in my own imaginary worlds and being busy talking to either with myself or my toys, I was rarely sad (which might seem odd if you belong to a normal family but I developed a very complex defence mechanism at a very young age.) I used to share my sorrows with my dolls and never real people. My dad loved me but had barely any idea what I was dealing with and my mum simply didn’t love me (she has gone through some bad stuff in her life because of which she has detachment issues.) And as far as I remember I was okay, if not happy, being that way because it was normal for me to be this way.

So I knew that I loved stories and books (and movies), but I found out that I wanted to be a writer on a very special day. I was in 6th grade and as per my school’s curriculum, we had our 1st ever library period in the very first week of starting of that school year.  I was completely mesmerized because my school library was very different than my local library – it was my school library (you know! SCHOOL LIBRARY!)

Of course, the first thing that I wanted to read was a good book, but our Sister Principal gave strict instructions to our Librarian to let us pick books from a particular shelf only. That shelf had some educational mags and some similar uninteresting things and I hated the idea of being restricted. And by that point, my enthusiasm for being in the school library considerably dropped and I began missing my local library.

So like everyone else in my class I picked up whatever I could get my hands on and began leafing through it when all of a sudden I came across a poem. It was named something like The Tree (I’m not sure now), but I was so impressed by that poem that I wrote it down in my new ‘Library Notes’ notebook. Which was huge for me because until that day I never really cared for poetry.

After that I read it again and again, switching between the mag from which I copied it and my notebook, for the entire period. After that whenever I used to go to the library (once every week) I used to copy down the poems or articles I found interesting. The thing was I wanted to write so badly that having no idea how to write something on my own, I started to copy whatever I thought was good.

And so on I kept doing till finally, I had to give up those mags for studying references. That was the first time when I actually contemplated becoming ‘one of those people who write all this’ and I remember thinking, after all, there have to be a few dedicated people who wrote stuff for these mags and books? You see, for whatever reason, I was simply not aware at that age that writing was an actual career option.

After that year I lost my normal library routine because I got caught up in studying to fulfil my mum’s dream of becoming an engineer. And thinking that writing was simply not a career option for me, by any stretch of the imagination, I never ever told anyone about it (mostly because I buried this dream so deep inside of me that I barely thought about it again.) That is until I started reading again (and that was after my parents’ divorce at the age of 16.)

I started reading and my grades started dropping (much to my mum and step-father’s annoyance.) Still, I kept on reading because that was the only escape I had. I read most of Sidney Sheldon’s books and then started reading Nicholas Sparks. After that, I read Twilight and a few other books. Due to the scarcity of time, I used to read only at nights taking out half an hour or one hour out of my study time which would always end up in 4-5 hours of reading.

After that, I never really left reading, no matter how my grades were affected (and this is something I’m really happy about and proud of.)

Then I got into Electronics and Telecommunication Engineering and finally coming to my senses, I rebelled against my mum and step-father in my 2nd year of engineering and dropped out of it, and married Vishal. And after that, everything changed forever because I finally started thinking about what I really wanted to do. Still, it took me some time to finally realize that I can become a writer and start writing whatever I wanted to. So after I did 3D Animation Film Making I got straight down to it. I created The Reading Bud and thought of starting with baby steps by writing reviews of books I read.

And then later I started this blog to see if I could write something original, and here I am 6 years down the road with a published novel of my own and working on another 3 books.

Takeaway:

Don’t be afraid of dreaming because that is the way you let the Universe know what you want in life. Dream, imagine, believe and work towards it with all you’ve got and soon you will have what you had dreamt of.

Free – After A Long Time

This short story/flash fiction is written for the photo prompt at Describli.


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Photo prompt

This is it… Today is the day…

Today I’ll meet him almost after 10 years.

We’ve been complete strangers since the day I left my old town with my mother.

I waited for him to contact me for a long, long time. But he never did. And so, I gave up waiting for him. He was the one who wanted me gone, so how could I have reached out to him. I remember the day he told me to go, he didn’t even come to the station to say goodbye.

At one time, he was my world, my first love, my superhero, my provider, my saviour, my everything. But then, he was nothing.

He didn’t even come when I graduated. He didn’t even come when I got married, he didn’t even come when I had a child, but yesterday night, out of the blue, I got his call, after 10 lonely years, saying only 3 words – Can we meet.

And after the exchange of a few more words, I’m standing here in the rain, waiting for him like I did a lifetime ago. Yes, it does feel like a lifetime. I thought that I’ve learned to live without him, but yesterday after his call, I realised just how much I really missed him and he did in fact, meant something to me after all these years of living my life without him, the most important man in my life.

I tap my feet on the moist ground below me, the crunching of leaves making me more nervous. But why am I nervous? He should be the one who should be nervous, cause he wanted me to leave that day. He was the one who sent me packing to a new town, amongst strangers, alone.

For 3 years I waited for his call day and night. I was so desperate to get him back that I had no idea how to live anymore. So, I did what I had to do to drown my suffering. I got into smoking and drinking. I became a rebel and made my mom hate me for it. I became a loner, a nobody.

But when after 3 years I realised that he will never call me, I finally started to pull my life together. It took me a long, long time. And finally, when I was living a happy life with my family, he rises from the dead and simply calls me. As if we just had dinner last week.

Why? Who the hell does he think he is? How can he even think that he can ask me to see him? And why the hell am I here?

This is a bad idea… I really should not be here. I must go back, to my family who loves me for who I am.

I shake my head and get up from the bench, pulling my raincoat tighter around me.

I’m leaving. He deserves to be stood up. To be left alone.

And just as I’m about to leave… I see him.

He’s walking slowly towards me, from the other side of the road. And as soon as he’s close enough for me to see his face clearly, a sob escapes my mouth.

And somehow, after all, these years of pain and suffering and living like an orphan, I still feel that somehow his presence is going to make everything alright.

After all, he’s my father and he’ll always be.


Please feel free to give your feedback in the comments section below.

You can read my other stories here.


 

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Note: All views and opinions shared in this post are my own.

10 Things To Make Your Mornings Fulfilling

Mornings are the most important aspect of each and every day. Depending upon how you spend your mornings, your day can be either very productive or simply horrible. Starting the day right is the key to have a more happy and productive day.

You might have observed that some days you are happy throughout the day and some days you feel irritated or agitated the entire time for no reason at all. Have you ever wondered why? Well, apart from the hormonal issues, most of the times it depends on the way you start your day.

If you begin your day on a happy and calm note, then 90% chances are that you’ll spend the rest of the day in the same way and vice-versa. So here are some things that I do to make my mornings happier and more fulfilling. These things have always helped me and I hope that they’ll help you too.

10 Things To Make Your Mornings Fulfilling

  1. Smile as big as you can right after you shut off your alarm clock (or phone.) It might make you feel silly and you might end up smiling some more.aa67cb553f5efcf3f24da2235eb81674
  2. Have a glass of warm water with juice of half a lemon (freshly squeezed.) It helps you get rid of all the toxins in the body and this greatly helps in reducing stress levels.Glass-of-water-with-lemon-and-lime
  3. Meditate for atleast 5-10 minutes.meditation
  4. Do basic stretches (hands, legs and neck.) It’ll hardly take 5 minutes.Woman practicing yoga in living room
  5. Make a list of 10 things that you are grateful for (a mental list will also do.)a12a89c6977728cb117a268d2d0d6881
  6. Think about the 3 things that you have to do today no matter what (it can be simple things as well, like laundry, watering plants etc.)
  7. Listen to one of your favourite tracks  or read a few pages of your favourite book while having your first cup of coffee/tea. IMG_2638
  8. Sing a song while you’re having a bath.367462-spongebob-square-pants-singing-spongebob
  9. Have a healthy and satisfying breakfast.Screen-Shot-2013-04-22-at-2.05.21-PM
  10. Smile as much as you can.smile-10

The basic idea is to not stress over anything. Don’t think about work or try not to in a way that makes you feel stressed. Try and be as calm and positive as you can.

Try to do these things and you’ll see the difference from the first day itself. From my experience I can say that you’ll feel very happy and fresh and your day will be quite a bit more productive than usually it would. good-morning-quotes-for-friends-good-morning-quotes-with-images-good-morning-cool So, what do you do to make your mornings fulfilling? Do share in the comments because I’d love to add more stuff to my personal list 🙂

Have a great day!

Some Interesting Updates (Reasons for why you saw less of me lately in the blogosphere!)

Hello everyone!

It’s been quite some time since I last visited most of your blogs and you probably didn’t even notice till NOW (psssst!) but well, I’m here to remind you… 🙂

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Lately I’ve been getting a lot of mails regarding content-writing (which I’ve got myself involved into from January 2015) and also for reviewing a lot of books, so finally I decided to have review contributors for my baby-blog The Reading Bud. I had no clue as to how to ask anyone so I just posted a small message that I’m looking for review contributors for my book-blog on Goodreads’ RMFAO (my book club) and on TRB’s Facebook. I’ve already received a few participants and I’ve selected 2 out of them, but I’m willing to have more people as there are a lot of review-requests.

Wait… right now I’m wondering “why the heck did I not post it on my blogs?”… duh! No worries, I’ll do it now…

I’m in need of a reviewer/contributor who’ll help me review titles that my blog, The Reading Bud, receives for reviewing.

It doesn’t matter whether you already have a blog or not. The only thing I’m looking for is the will to read and review books honestly.

If you are new to reviewing then don’t worry, I’ll help you with the process and everything.

Contact me at: thereadingbud@gmail.com

That said and done, I have a good news… nope! not that! God! It’s something related to writing… 😉

Felicia of Thoughtful Minds United has promoted me to the position of Editor on her blog. I’ve been a writer at TMU since last 4 months (you can read my articles here) and now I’m one of the editors. For those of you who don’t know, Thoughtful Minds United is a blog by Felicia, where a number of writers from around the world come together and create awesome content and lately we’ve started proving services as well. If you haven’t already checked it out then please visit it here.

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If you are interested in guest-posting on TMU then please Contact Me.

Another update is that I’ve raised my bar a bit high in fitness and have started walk/jogging 7 kms daily… 🙂

feeling-accomplished

So this is what is keeping me from visiting all your blogs! I’m really missing all your awesome posts! I guess I’ll be free in another week and then will visit all the blogs and check out what you all have been upto these past few days…. be ready to have your notifications getting flooded next week 😉

Have a great week ❤

Being Unconventional

made by me!
made by me!

Life is too short to worry about each and everything that we do. Sometimes it’s liberating to ditch what people think is the correct way to live… Being unconventional makes you feel free, well atleast it makes me feel free! Being an Indian one might think that I’m totally surrounded by orthodox people, but that’s not the casunconventional-lifee. Luckily I’ve had parents, specially my father’s family, who believe in one’s freedom and space. My husband V, is my soulmate, he also believes in doing whatever feels right, no matter how bizarre it may be for others. My mom’s not typically orthodox but she does worry about what everyone’s gonna think. The way I see it, this way she gives others the power to decide everything for her. Seeing the difference between her and my father, I very well chose to be like him (genetically also I’m more like my father… thanks to the gene-genies!) Unfortunately, many people let problems and work take over their lives. They forget to live in small moments. Not everyone is lucky or brave enough to do things the way they want to. I strongly believe in doing what I like and I also try to encourage everyone close to me to do so. Here are some things that I do and I think that everyone should do some of these at least once:

  1. Have an ice-cream when it’s really cold outside.
  2. Try and have a good laugh at-least once a day.Felix_the_Cat_laughing
  3. Watch your favourite sitcoms or movies or whatever it is that you enjoy.
  4. Read at-least one book in a month or two (if you don’t already!)
  5. Try and be good to your maids, servants, watchmen or whoever helps you everyday.
  6. Listen to a song that you love and sing along ALOUD. You don’t have to be Adelle to sing, just sing for yourself!sponge-bob-sing-sponge-bob-coloring-pictures
  7. Get a stuffed animal, name it and talk to it whenever you feel like (no harm in living your childhood again!)
  8. Go to a cafe to have your favourite coffee in your favourite cute pink and white pyjamas! Even if you’re a guy.large
  9. Understand that sometimes it’s okay to sit quietly and do nothing.
  10. It’s okay to have a bad hair day, after all you’re not Jennifer Aniston.
  11. When life get’s too rough, just take a day off.3-day-off
  12. It’s totally fine to have a breakdown once in a while.
  13. Someday wake up at 5 am just to have a cup of coffee!coffee-cup-bean
  14. Treat yourself every once in a while to things that you control/ stop yourself from… like fries or cheese burst pizza!
  15. Have a internet-free day once every month… no fb, no blog, no mail peeping.2807100863_4878e36d73_z
  16. Get a full body message/spa once a month.
  17. It’s okay to cry yourself to sleep if you need to or if you feel like it.10062aac28457afc03a42b9e00e2254b
  18. Bathe in the sun every now and then.

Just do whatever you feel like. Remember, it’s YOUR life and you can do things the way you like! 539db8bcaa12f84db68d6b79344d89d8 - CopyWhat is your idea of being unconventional? Please share them so that even I can learn new ways to be unconventional 🙂

Have a beautiful day!

Guest-Post: Dealing With Negative Feelings – Make A Change!

Hi guys! Please welcome today’s Guest-Blogger, Erika Kind: The author of I’m Free and several other amazing books, she also has a practice for aromatherapy and self-development.

Erika is the sweetest and the most inspiring person I’ve ever known. She’s a great friend and an even better guide! I love reading her motivating posts on her amazing blog and always look forward to have a word or two with her whenever possible. She is an endless source of positivity and I can’t thank her enough for agreeing to write a post for this blog! Erika, you are the best ❤

Visit her blog, Author Erika Kind, to know more about her.

Presenting Erika Kind…

I am so happy to be asked for a guest-post by my dear friend Heena. What do I love most about her blog? Her fresh and light way of writing, and inspiring. To me she is a young woman with lots of feelings and a heart full of wisdom. Heena asked me to write about how to deal with negative feelings. A topic with a very wide range… where to start, where to go?

We all are caught by negative feelings at times; some more and some less. Why do we have negative feelings? (At this point I’d like to differ between feelings and emotions in order to provide a better understanding. Feelings to me mean something stable and kind of condition. Emotions are only of a short duration and emerge out of a happening.) So why do we have negative feelings? I try to keep it short and simple.

Continue reading “Guest-Post: Dealing With Negative Feelings – Make A Change!”