BlogBattle is a weekly short story challenge in which participants write short stories using a single word for inspiration. You can visit the BB’s blog to find out more about it: Blogbattle: Inspired To Write.
This week’s word is Derelict.
Derelict
Genre: Dark Fiction
The smell of his sweat repels me. The sweat-soaked hair under his arms makes me want to gag. They touch my cheek even when he doesn’t move. But I can’t let this repulsion show on my face. I have no strength to fight with him anymore tonight.
I love him, I remind myself for the thousandth time tonight. I love him. It’ll all get over soon.
I turn my face slowly and look at his face trying to understand what’s going through his mind. He looks shabby and I miss those days when he used to shave and take bath every day (or every other day at least.) He’s turned into someone else entirely. Someone I don’t know. Someone I don’t want to know.
He laughs at something making an animal sound that starts from his stomach and vibrates in his throat. Sitting this close to him I can feel it when his laugh rises from his belly and comes out of his mouth like he’s throwing up, spittle flying in the air.
I feel his rough stubble on my forehead and try to wiggle out of his suffocating half-embrace. He looks at me annoyed and tightens his grips. He looks at me for a minute before smirking and turning back to the TV.
I can feel the remains of his stale breath on my face. I exhale deeply and try to calm down my nerves. I love him and deep down somewhere he loves me too.
I try to console myself, but when I think about what he’s become I can’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. And in that moment I hate myself. I begin to loathe what I’ve done, regretting the decision of leaving Ben and Adam for this bastard.
But I will not run away this time because this is what I deserve for leaving my baby and my loving husband behind.
***
Please note: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person or thing is purely coincidental.
oh. oh dear! the tension! the agony. the vivid description! and then the twist. Geez, Heena! (standing ovation!) ❤
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Thank ou, Rosema. I’m so glad you think so. Your comment really made me smile and feel better 🙂 ❤
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awww. glad to do just that! ❤
you're sick, dear? ❤
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Not literally, but lately I’ve been suffering from a bout of Writer’s Block. But I’m starting to feel better now 🙂 Thanks! ❤
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Awww. Really? Geez. Come on, writer’s block. Don’t be a kill joy! Let my lovely Heena write! ❤
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Heheh… Aww.w. You’re so sweet, Rosema. I guess now i’ll be able to defeat Writer’s Block for sure 😉
Thanks a ton! ❤
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My heart skipped a beat when I came to the last two paragraphs…. no words but only: fantastically written, Heena! You met us in the heart.
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Thanks a lot, Erika. I’m really glad you liked it 🙂
It’s been a long time since I’ve written something so short. I wasn’t entirely sure about this one, but now I’m feeling better about it 🙂
Thanks.
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It was an amazing read and believe me… it made me thing!
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Thanks you, again, Erika ❤
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😊😊
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❤
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Wow hun, I love it.
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Thanks, sweetz! ❤
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Exceptionally written! Powerful emotions that only a woman could write. Brava, Heena! ❤
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Thanks, Amy 🙂
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A fine story, weaving in and out of the mind of the protagonist. And you again managed to keep me hooked. The reveal was great. 👌
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Thanks. I had my doubts about this at first mainly because it was so short, but I’ve realised that sometimes less is more and leaving stuff for imagination serves the purpose perfectly.
Thanks for reading and for your kind words. Appreciate it 🙂
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A really short story is definitely tough to do. But maybe that’s the beauty of the craft.
Pleasure reading this. Have a great day.😊
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Agreed!
And you too have a great day! 🙂
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Good one Heena! It was sheere genius, the way a short collection of words bring about magic…
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Thanks a lot, Clare! Glad you think so 😀 ❤
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Nice
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Thanks.
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the art of your precise method of writing, the agony turns your blog into a book with a movie…incredible…
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Thanks a lot, Mihran, for all your kind words. Appreciate it 🙂
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I could feel her emotion, I was there with her. That was really well written. You’ve told a whole story in such a small amount of words. Well done. 🙂
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Thank you, Phoenix. As I’ve been telling everyone, I was a little skeptical about this one, but seeing that everyone actually liked it, I’m feeling a lot better that I didn’t discard it. 🙂
Glad you liked it!
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I’m glad you didn’t discard it either. 🙂
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So harsh and achingly beautiful ❤
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Thanks, Rachael! 🙂
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So terribly sad. Good choice of present tense to emphasize the brutal present chosen.
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Thanks.
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