A Lost Memory (Bianca Brown #1)
This short story/flash fiction is written for the photo prompt at Describli.
I wake up with a start, completely unaware of everything. I sit up with a jerk and wonder where am I? I look around myself and realize that I don’t even know who the hell am I.
I try taking deep breaths. In and out, in and out. I reach with my hands and touch the mattress and a the tangled covers, trying to figure out my whereabouts.
I pat beside me and realize that someone is in the bed with me. What the heck! I get out of the bed quickly, fumbling with the covers. The guy beside me wakes up and sits up rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “What happened, sweetie? You okay?” He looks at me furrowing his eyebrows.
From the faint moonlight that is coming through the glass windows of the room, I see his handsome face. Somehow I feel that I know him, but how, I can’t say. Well, he is in my bed, so obviously, I had to know him. But right now I can’t remember him.
“Who are you? What is this place? And who am I?” I try to sound as calm as possible but hearing my own words I know that I’m already sounding panicky.
“It’s okay, baby. Doctor said that it might happen.” He takes a deep breath and pat beside him, where I’d been sleeping. “Sit down and I’ll explain you everything.”
I know that something’s not right, but I can feel that this good-looking guy is definitely not a threat. I sit beside him and take a few calming breaths. After a minute, when I feel a little relaxed, I look at him expectantly.
He smiles and says, “My name is Jerry. Yours is Bianca, but we all call you B. I’m your fiancé and in two months we’ll be getting married, so you can relax.” He smiles again and says, “4 months ago you had an accident that affected your memory, severely. Some days you remember everything but some days you can’t. It has happened before, more than a dozen times, so please just try and relax. Okay? I’m sure that by tomorrow morning you’ll be just fine.”
What? I sigh heavily rubbing my face with my hands. Well, I knew something wasn’t right but I also knew that somehow I’ve been through this before. It does not come as a complete shock; I guess losing your memory, again and again, wears you off at some point. I think my brain is getting used to it now because I’m not freaking out the way I should. Whatever it is, I’m feeling better now, more composed. Guess that’s how I am, I mean nature wise. Well, we’ll see tomorrow.
I lie down facing my back to him, curled up in a ball and trying to forget what just happened. Maybe it is a bad dream and all I have to do is wake up.
The loud screeching of the alarm clock wakes me up at 7:00 am.
I turn it off and make my way to the bathroom. J is brushing his teeth, a white towel wrapped around his waist. I go to him and hug him from behind, “Good morning, J.”
He smiles at me looking at my reflection in the mirror and says through the bubbles in his mouth, “Hey, you’re up.”
I nod, still hugging him. For some reason, I’m feeling restless and insecure. I know it sounds exaggerated but due to my medical condition I feel like this most of the time. He turns around once he’s done, wiping his face with a small towel and tossing it on the stand. He hugs me saying, “are you okay?” I hear a slight tense note in his voice. What is it?
I try to ignore it and say, “Yep. Just a little tired, I guess.”
“Hmm. You remember anything from last night?”
I freeze for a second, my whole body tensing up. But when I look at him, the expression on his face looks relaxed, so I’m guessing that I didn’t do anything stupid, like last time when I started yelling when I saw him in the bed next to me. I shake my head, trying to remember what happened. But all I can remember is, after having dinner at The Ivy, we came to J’s place, made love, twice, and then we slept. “I hope I didn’t trouble you,” I say unsure of what to expect.
“Oh, no. Nothing like that. In fact, you were surprisingly calm last night. I mean, maybe you’re getting used to it now.”
“I guess.” I smile at him weakly. I know he means it in a good way, but the thought, that I’m getting “used to it,” is not making me feel any better. This is not how I want to spend my life. This is not who I am.
“Come on now, we have to get ready for…”
“Yea, I remember. Breakfast with mom.”
I go to my cupboard to see what I’m going to wear today. I go through all the dresses that are hanging and decide to wear the blue frock. I hear the bathroom door click- J is taking a bath. I immediately unlock the small metallic side-pocket- that is under the cupboard drawer, behind my undergarments- and open it. I take out the glistening black diamond from it. I hid it here the day I came back from the hospital.
I caress the smooth surface of the beautiful stone and remember the words I hear in my sleep every night since the day I lost my memory- The diamond will show you the way. Don’t let anyone see it.
I don’t know how I got it or what it does, but I do know, for sure, that somehow it belongs to me. No one ever mentioned it, but I am sure that it is something that no one knows about, at least not in my family.
It is my little secret and some day I will find out the real truth. The truth that everybody is trying to hide from me – The memory that no one wants me to remember.
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