Jessie is a Contemporary Fiction short-story series about a girl named Jessie. I’m still not sure where I’m going to go with this series, but I’m sure to include emotional themes of love, family, support, getting over fears, etc.
Each part of this story is written for the photo-prompts at Describli.
You can read the other parts of this series here: Baking A Pie (Jessie #1) and Ruined Dreams (Jessie #2)
I spend the entire evening crying, sitting at the same place where Riki was siting when he broke the devastating news to me.
I wipe my face and get up to get myself some water. After drinking a glass of water I come back to the sofa and check my phone – there are 38 missed calls from Riki and about a dozen texts.
I put the phone down, as I don’t have the strength to talk to him or read any of his texts. I’m sure he’s just trying to tell me the reasons for leaving me.
I don’t know why but people think that somehow giving excuses will make everything right.
Right when I’m about to go inside my phone vibrates again. Why is he doing this?
I check my phone; this time it’s an email from him. I let out an exasperated sigh and open the mail. The first thing that I notice is that he’s addressed it like a letter – Dear Jess, – and the second thing I notice is that it’s one hell of a long email.
Grief makes me think funny; I guess it’s my way of coping.
I read the mail:
I know you well enough to know that you don’t want to listen to any of my excuses for falling in love with someone else. And I also know that you don’t even want to know who it is, but it is important to me. I wanted to stay there and tell you everything but I knew that you needed time to take in everything and that’s the only reason I left you alone today. But trust me, I hate myself for doing this to you.
You remember last month we went to the doctor, and he said that your chances of conceding a child are less than 2%, that’s the time it actually hit me that your accident has really changed our life forever. I was really lost after that. I didn’t tell you anything because I knew you were already dealing with a lot of things – surgery after surgery and of course the shock of not being able to a mother.
That was the time when I came close to Julia. I first met her six months ago through a client and since then she’s been trying to meet me. I wanted to get rid of her, that’s why I decided to meet her once and tell her to get lost, but as it turned out she was really sweet and charming. And in no time I found myself telling her everything – about us, about you and about all the problems that haunted me.
Within two weeks we were like best friends and what really upset me was that you barely even noticed that something was not right between us. Well, I’m not blaming you or anything but I’m just being honest here because it’s important to me that you understand how it happened.
First I thought that it was just a crush but I was wrong, I really love her, Jess. When I left 3 days ago for my business trip, it wasn’t a business trip; I just needed some time away from you to think about Julia. And after giving it a lot of thought I’ve decided that I want to be with Julia.
I never wanted to hurt you, but I can’t live without her. I’m extremely sorry Jess but please try and understand.
And don’t worry, you can keep the house and the car and I’ll also make sure that all your medical as well as day to day expenses are taken care of. If you ever need anything then just let me know. I’m always there for you, Jess.
I hope you’ll understand my situation. I’m sorry again. If possible then please try to forgive me.
What the hell!
I throw the phone on the sofa and yank all the hairpins from my hair, letting my wild stands fall loose. I wipe the mascara that I put on so carefully this morning and start ripping apart the dress that I’m wearing. I go inside crying, followed by Juno and change into pajama shorts. After changing my clothes I sit on the bed and look at myself in the mirror next to the bed. I look like a maniac, maybe that’s why he left me. I get up and get a comb and flopping down on the bed I start yanking on my strands.
After pulling my hair in a tight bun, I sit staring at my reflection in the mirror again. What is wrong with me, am I not beautiful anymore, am I not worth loving.
I stroke my stomach lightly, trying to imagine a small lump of flesh inside me, my child. I had only two percent chances of conceiving, and I did, isn’t it supposed to mean something good.
I break down at the thought of raising this child on my own. Curling on the bed I stuff my face under the pillow and start crying again like a ten year old.
I know I’m a fighter but I can’t fight back until I get all the hurt out of me through my tears. Last year after my accident, I cried continuously for five days, but after that I got up and fought back and against all odds I’m standing on my own feet today. That’s how I am.
I just need some time to get everything out of me – all the love I had for Riki, all the hurt, all the broken pieces of my heart – and then I’ll get up for good and fight back.
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